One Prayer Away
Tracy Lee • May 21, 2020
Yesterday evening, my husband and I had the opportunity to attend a lovely intimate concert. Well, 20 minutes of it anyway.
My husband purchased tickets to a concert about three weeks ago and as the days past, we had a funeral scheduled for the exact same day. The concert began at 3:00 PM and was scheduled to end at 5:00 PM. It was in a town almost an hour away from our home and the scheduled funeral ended around 3:45 PM.
As we entered the concert hall, the performer stopped his performance, scanned the audience, found us with his gaze, and asked, “Did Y'all just get here? Maybe you were at church, you look like a Preacher.” My husband replied that we were funeral directors and had been delayed due to a family’s need. The performer replied, “Ah, same thing, it’s a ministry. I hope it was at least profitable for you.”
He then segued to a song that had been a big hit for his father. I do not know if his conversation with my husband influenced the selection, or if it was just the next song in his repertoire, however, it was about a man going to meet his death. The performer’s father had been in prison and had been befriended by an older man in the cell next to him. The older man was serving three consecutive life sentences and had decided, along with two other inmates, to escape San Quinton Prison. The performer’s father thought he might like to escape along with them, but his friend asked him to reconsider.
As the two inmates became friends, they both learned about the other’s life. The older more experienced criminal told the younger less experienced inmate that he needed not escape with him. He explained that he intended to never return to prison and that he would do whatever that goal required. He told his younger friend to get his life in order, to return to his family, and to follow his unshared talent of playing the guitar and singing with the world.
The older man escaped with his two inmate friends, but was hunted, and caught in a firefight with law enforcement. The two friends were killed in the encounter and the older man shot and killed a police officer. His sentence was capital punishment. He returned to San Quinton Prison for execution.
The older man had the opportunity to see his younger friend and asked for a favor. He requested that as he met his death, his friend play and sing a song that his mother had often sung to him? The warden granted the older man’s last wish and as he walked the hall to his execution, the other inmates stood up for him as he passed their cells. When he approached his younger friend’s cell, he paused, and his friend sang his request.
The younger man served his sentence and returned home to his little family. His wife and two children were living in Bakersfield CA in an abandoned railroad car. The former prisoner began his career as a performer and wrote a song about his experience with the older inmate who had encouraged him. His son then sang “Sing Me Back Home.”
The story of Merle Haggard singing for a man walking to his execution touched my heart very deeply. It is miraculous that two people in prison are able to help each other see the other side of life. The older inmate needed comfort on his way to meet God and the younger man needed to find his path in life. Through service to each other, they each fulfilled God’s purpose, “Love one another, as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” (John 13:34) Merle Haggard brought comfort and allowed God’s tender mercies to rescue the older inmate from the fear of death. In turn, the older inmate gave Merle Haggard purpose of life, encouraged him to share his gift as a talented performer, and motivated him to return to his struggling family rather than remain in a cycle of crime. How glorious life is when you follow the promptings of the spirit and help others in need.
As a funeral director, I see the miracles of goodness and mercy every day. As people near life’s end, they impart encouragement and life’s lessons to those they leave behind. They willingly share their love, wisdom, fears, and hopes with those who mean the most to them. In return, those who love them offer comfort, listen to their wisdom, witness the miracle of life’s passage, and, better understand God’s purpose in life’s journey.
The performer finished his concert with a personal song, “One Prayer Away.”
I hope you have prayer in your life, that you receive the glories of heaven, and that the mercies of the Savior grace your life with forgiveness and purpose. For Marty Haggard, “That’s how his day begins and the way it ends.” (One Prayer Away, Marty Haggard) I hope yours does too.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), the Managing Funeral Director (FDIC,) and owner of Queen City Funeral Home in Queen City, Texas. I am an author and syndicated columnist. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and grief briefs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate survivors toward positive recovery.
It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
The past two weeks have been difficult for me. I have suffered the loss of a dear friend and have served families that have suffered great losses. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused unwarranted loss, stress, and heartache to so many people this year. Not only have we lost loved ones, but we have lost our economy, our comfort, and our security as Americans. Everywhere I look, it seems that people are rude and uncaring toward each other when what we need is love. I wish we could be kind to each other, considerate to each other, and help each other through our difficulties rather than burning cities, burning businesses, and tearing apart what makes up great, our Union. Americans are the most blessed people in the world. We live in a time of convenience and wealth. Why is it then that we can’t add kindness and respect to our society? Why must there be murders and brutal attacks on innocent people walking down the street? I work with families every day who would give all that they have for just one more moment with their loved one to say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” Time is so precious, but even more precious is the way that we treat others. For if we treat others with contempt, we will reap the bitter reward of hatred. Hate eats a person from the inside out, and no matter how hard a hateful person tries to find happiness, it will never come to them. I know this because I see it every day. A hateful heart has no room for happiness. Happiness only comes to those who love. Love is like light. Light is the only thing that is stronger than the dark. If you have a completely dark room and you strike a match, the light from that match will push the darkness away and light up the room. Conversely, if you have a room filled with light and you cup your hands to create a spot of darkness. As soon as you open your hands, the dark is gone. Light overpowers it just as love overpowers hate. Love is the only thing that is stronger than hate. If you strike an ember of love in the heart of someone full of hate, love will grow and overtake their hatred. In my profession, love is very important. I see all too often those who have pushed love aside thinking that they were winning an argument or for some other ridiculous reason. What I see when this happens is that at the end of life, those who were foolish and let hatred get the best of them suffer the most. They remain miserable for the rest of their lives. Don’t be one of these people. Don’t let hatred get the best of you. And most assuredly, let us not allow hatred to overtake our country. I don’t want to live in a world filled with hatred and discontent. I want happiness and love for all. I especially want love in your life when you suffer loss because believe me, when the grim reaper knocks, it’s too late to cry for one more moment to say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” At that moment, the weight of hatred crushes every hope you ever had to make amends, to accomplish happiness, or to right any wrong you may have perpetrated. It’s too late and you are the person who will suffer the consequences of your vicious actions. You are the person who will have no friends, no love, and who will die alone; miserable because of your hatred and terrible deeds. I know because I see it in so many people who thought they could just make a statement, a judgment, or an action and not suffer the consequences. In the end, it’s the hateful people who suffer the consequences. They die alone without love or support. Their needs are not met and they writhe in misery. I lost a dear friend this past week. He was kind, loving, and good. He made the world a better place, and he made my life happier through his actions of kindness toward me. I wish everyone alive could have known my friend. Christ died to make man holy, and my friend John took up his offer. John was a holy man. He lived his life serving others, teaching others, and helping anyone who needed help. He was filled with love and he shared his love with those who needed it. If we could all be like John, the world would be an amazingly happy and beautiful place. John is gone and I feel the weight of his loss deeply in my soul. He leaves a legacy of service to our nation, service to Christ, and service to anyone who needed it. He was a good man, a great man, and now he is gone. I will have the honor of directing his memorial service in a few days. The church will be bursting as those who John served make their way there to express their sorrow and love for him. I will be one of those people. John’s legacy will continue in his absence because he ignited goodness, love, and service in the hearts of those about him. May we all understand and embrace John’s mission in life to serve and love our fellow beings. Doing so will bring us the greatest rewards. It will fill our lives with the greatest gifts on earth; joy, happiness, and love. This is my prayer for you, for our nation, and for the world during this time of uncertainty and discontent. Thank you, John, for being my friend, and my God bless you as you arrive home, never to suffer more, the pains of the world nor heartaches of men. Godspeed.
I received a first call late last night and was therefore at the hospital when I ran into an acquaintance of mine. As we spoke, she told me that her father had recently died. She began to cry and I offered to send over a set of my grief books (Mourning Light I, II, & III) to her office the following morning. I wrote her a sympathy card and delivered the books about 15 minutes ago. She had not yet arrived at her office, so I left the books and card with her secretary. The following is the note I wrote in the sympathy card. I thought I would share it, in hopes that it might help others who mourn as well. Dear Friend, February will be the 2nd anniversary of my grandson’s death. It is said that “Death is Final”; that is untrue. The pain and loneliness remain in my soul, and it feels as though I held his lifeless body, yesterday, in my arms. That day broke me; it almost killed me. Had I not had the love and support of my husband and children, I don’t think my sanity would have remained with me. The pain continues to crush my soul with anguish. There are 4 things that have helped me survive the debilitating pain of losing my grandson, and I wanted to share them with you in hopes that you might find peace in them as well. Prayer Prayer was, and continues to be, my saving grace. Without the love and promise of Christ’s redeeming grace, peace would remain unobtainable. Recounting my Experience Sharing my story out loud made it real. It took away my fear. It gave me power over the chaos of pain. Information As a certified grief counselor, knowing what to expect and whether it was normal or abnormal helped keep my worries at bay. The books that I have sent over are filled with information, plainly and simply written, to help you understand and identify the symptoms of grief, as well as recovery’s signs and secrets. Journaling Writing down my anguishes, thoughts, pains, worries, and fears helped me to let them go. I was able to organize myself, and it gave me hope for my future. I am sorry for the dreadful sorrow in your heart, and the pain that infiltrates your daily existence. I understand that breathing feels unnatural, it takes effort to continue on, and that peace eludes you. I wish that death did not exist, but it is a reality that the both of us know all too well; one that we must endure. I believe that families are forever, that we are all God’s children, and that we will reunite with our loved ones across the veil as we too, one day, experience death. Until that day arrives, however, I pray that you and I will live our lives as emissaries of Christ, basking in his grace, and recipients of his glory. I hope that as you suffer the loss of your daddy that you will feel comfortable in reaching out to others, and that you might call me should you need assistance. The pain of grief should never be carried nor suffered in silence, nor alone. Reach out and allow those who love and care for you to lighten your burdens. Life will never be as it once was, but it will improve as you share priceless moments of peace with those who remain by your side. I hold you in high esteem, and pray that Christ’s promise will grace your soul. With Deepest Regards, Tracy Lee My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on, as well as educate adults in the needs of surviving children.