Wolves Nipping at our Heels
Tracy Lee • May 21, 2020
Three and one-half years ago, my youngest daughter underwent total spine fusion due to severe scoliosis. Two years ago, she was in Houston, visiting friends, and the automobile in which she was a rear seat passenger, was rear-ended on the freeway. Perhaps for most people, this would not have been a big deal, but due to the velocity of the impact, and the fact that her back now has no movement whatsoever, she was knocked out by the severe snapping of her neck. Once she regained herself, she realized that she had glass jabbed into various places throughout her body, she was unable to move her neck and right arm, she was confused, frightened, bleeding, unable to hear due to severe ringing in her ears, and in pain.
At the time of the accident, my daughter was preparing to serve a mission. The accident caused quite a delay, but she persevered and was able to enter the mission field with certain limitations. Since that time, my daughter has been on a full-time church mission for 18 months.
Although she suffers from the injuries she sustained, there is no time on a mission to address her issues. She comes home Monday, exactly one week after the day that the statute of limitations on her accident expires. Interestingly, the insurance company, aware of this time discrepancy, did not attempt to properly settle her medical debts brought on by their client as they promised, and are obligated to do. As they spoke with my husband and me late Friday night at 4:55 PM, they informed us that come Monday evening; we would see our daughter’s future ruined due to unsettled medical bills. Their calculated inactions, her trusting nature, and her obedience during her mission service would inflict severe negative consequences affecting her future college and career goals. The insurance company’s solution? Indemnify them before the statute of limitations ran out, and rather than paying the debts and clearing up her credit, they would issue a check to my daughter equaling one quarter of the total bills, allowing the consequences of their evil deeds to damage her life as she attempted to right the wrongs they had intentionally inflicted upon her.
My weekend was a disaster. I was so distraught over their horrendous and calculated mistreatment to my daughter that I could not rest. I could not eat. I could not do anything but cry, because I felt completely hopeless and unable to help my daughter out of this terrible situation.
About a year ago, a gentleman called me on the phone to discuss an article I had written about suicide. During our conversation, he had mentioned that he was a licensed attorney in the State of Texas. Is not it wonderful how God places people in our lives to help us and we do not even realize what is going on it when it happens?
As I was lamenting over what could be done to help my daughter, I remembered this kind gentleman and our conversation. I wondered if he might be able to advise me at this late hour. I flashed off an email to him Friday night as I sat on my couch in tears.
As he entered his office Monday morning, my friend began his workday routine by checking his emails. As he read my email, he immediately called me and offered me the assistance I needed.
I am grateful to him for his assistance. Monday morning, he had a choice. He could have ignored my plea, but he chose to emulate the example of Christ, and help someone in need. His phone call was so gentle and kind. He immediately began gathering the information that I needed and emailed it to me right away. By 3:00 PM, I was able to file an action to stop the statute of limitation’s expiration, allowing my daughter to seek counsel and pursue a proper and just outcome.
I pick her up in three days; one week after the insurance company’s calculated injustice toward her. Her mission has ended. The last time I saw her, she had just turned 19 years old. She is now 21. During that time, we have emailed once each week, and video chatted for 30 minutes on two Mother’s Days, and one Christmas. Those are the mission rules.
She has been a very successful missionary. She has brought numerous souls unto Christ. She has served people across the world; too many to count. Her service and influence will continue without end because she has changed lives. At such a young age, she has made the world a better place. She too has followed the words of Christ and helped those in need.
My attorney friend lost his wife last year. As a widower, he grieves very deeply for her companionship, their love, and the life they shared together. Throughout this year, my friend has been on my prayer list. He is a good man with a good heart. I am very grateful for his kindness toward me.
Monday morning, my friend made a choice. He chose to follow the example and commandments of Christ. “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” (John 13:34) While in the service of her Lord, my daughter, kindly received service from another.
We do not know how things will turn out for her future. She has a battle against a giant foe who has already tried to deceive and forcefully damage her; but, there are people in the world of moral character, and one came to our assistance while the wolves were nipping at our heels. For that, we give thanks, for that we find hope, and for that, we know my friend’s name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.
Throughout this year, my friend has been on my prayer list, and there, I feel fairly certain, he shall remain. Please add my friend and all those who suffer loss, to your prayer list. Grief is a pain that strangles the joy out of your being and breaks your will to live.
My friend is a good man; he deserves comfort as he awaits the day when he will reunite with his beloved wife in the presence of his Savior, Christ. Everyone deserves that. That is my prayer. Will you make it yours too?
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), the Managing Funeral Director (FDIC,) and owner of Queen City Funeral Home in Queen City, Texas. I am an author and syndicated columnist. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and grief briefs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate survivors toward positive recovery.
It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
The past two weeks have been difficult for me. I have suffered the loss of a dear friend and have served families that have suffered great losses. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused unwarranted loss, stress, and heartache to so many people this year. Not only have we lost loved ones, but we have lost our economy, our comfort, and our security as Americans. Everywhere I look, it seems that people are rude and uncaring toward each other when what we need is love. I wish we could be kind to each other, considerate to each other, and help each other through our difficulties rather than burning cities, burning businesses, and tearing apart what makes up great, our Union. Americans are the most blessed people in the world. We live in a time of convenience and wealth. Why is it then that we can’t add kindness and respect to our society? Why must there be murders and brutal attacks on innocent people walking down the street? I work with families every day who would give all that they have for just one more moment with their loved one to say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” Time is so precious, but even more precious is the way that we treat others. For if we treat others with contempt, we will reap the bitter reward of hatred. Hate eats a person from the inside out, and no matter how hard a hateful person tries to find happiness, it will never come to them. I know this because I see it every day. A hateful heart has no room for happiness. Happiness only comes to those who love. Love is like light. Light is the only thing that is stronger than the dark. If you have a completely dark room and you strike a match, the light from that match will push the darkness away and light up the room. Conversely, if you have a room filled with light and you cup your hands to create a spot of darkness. As soon as you open your hands, the dark is gone. Light overpowers it just as love overpowers hate. Love is the only thing that is stronger than hate. If you strike an ember of love in the heart of someone full of hate, love will grow and overtake their hatred. In my profession, love is very important. I see all too often those who have pushed love aside thinking that they were winning an argument or for some other ridiculous reason. What I see when this happens is that at the end of life, those who were foolish and let hatred get the best of them suffer the most. They remain miserable for the rest of their lives. Don’t be one of these people. Don’t let hatred get the best of you. And most assuredly, let us not allow hatred to overtake our country. I don’t want to live in a world filled with hatred and discontent. I want happiness and love for all. I especially want love in your life when you suffer loss because believe me, when the grim reaper knocks, it’s too late to cry for one more moment to say, “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” At that moment, the weight of hatred crushes every hope you ever had to make amends, to accomplish happiness, or to right any wrong you may have perpetrated. It’s too late and you are the person who will suffer the consequences of your vicious actions. You are the person who will have no friends, no love, and who will die alone; miserable because of your hatred and terrible deeds. I know because I see it in so many people who thought they could just make a statement, a judgment, or an action and not suffer the consequences. In the end, it’s the hateful people who suffer the consequences. They die alone without love or support. Their needs are not met and they writhe in misery. I lost a dear friend this past week. He was kind, loving, and good. He made the world a better place, and he made my life happier through his actions of kindness toward me. I wish everyone alive could have known my friend. Christ died to make man holy, and my friend John took up his offer. John was a holy man. He lived his life serving others, teaching others, and helping anyone who needed help. He was filled with love and he shared his love with those who needed it. If we could all be like John, the world would be an amazingly happy and beautiful place. John is gone and I feel the weight of his loss deeply in my soul. He leaves a legacy of service to our nation, service to Christ, and service to anyone who needed it. He was a good man, a great man, and now he is gone. I will have the honor of directing his memorial service in a few days. The church will be bursting as those who John served make their way there to express their sorrow and love for him. I will be one of those people. John’s legacy will continue in his absence because he ignited goodness, love, and service in the hearts of those about him. May we all understand and embrace John’s mission in life to serve and love our fellow beings. Doing so will bring us the greatest rewards. It will fill our lives with the greatest gifts on earth; joy, happiness, and love. This is my prayer for you, for our nation, and for the world during this time of uncertainty and discontent. Thank you, John, for being my friend, and my God bless you as you arrive home, never to suffer more, the pains of the world nor heartaches of men. Godspeed.
I received a first call late last night and was therefore at the hospital when I ran into an acquaintance of mine. As we spoke, she told me that her father had recently died. She began to cry and I offered to send over a set of my grief books (Mourning Light I, II, & III) to her office the following morning. I wrote her a sympathy card and delivered the books about 15 minutes ago. She had not yet arrived at her office, so I left the books and card with her secretary. The following is the note I wrote in the sympathy card. I thought I would share it, in hopes that it might help others who mourn as well. Dear Friend, February will be the 2nd anniversary of my grandson’s death. It is said that “Death is Final”; that is untrue. The pain and loneliness remain in my soul, and it feels as though I held his lifeless body, yesterday, in my arms. That day broke me; it almost killed me. Had I not had the love and support of my husband and children, I don’t think my sanity would have remained with me. The pain continues to crush my soul with anguish. There are 4 things that have helped me survive the debilitating pain of losing my grandson, and I wanted to share them with you in hopes that you might find peace in them as well. Prayer Prayer was, and continues to be, my saving grace. Without the love and promise of Christ’s redeeming grace, peace would remain unobtainable. Recounting my Experience Sharing my story out loud made it real. It took away my fear. It gave me power over the chaos of pain. Information As a certified grief counselor, knowing what to expect and whether it was normal or abnormal helped keep my worries at bay. The books that I have sent over are filled with information, plainly and simply written, to help you understand and identify the symptoms of grief, as well as recovery’s signs and secrets. Journaling Writing down my anguishes, thoughts, pains, worries, and fears helped me to let them go. I was able to organize myself, and it gave me hope for my future. I am sorry for the dreadful sorrow in your heart, and the pain that infiltrates your daily existence. I understand that breathing feels unnatural, it takes effort to continue on, and that peace eludes you. I wish that death did not exist, but it is a reality that the both of us know all too well; one that we must endure. I believe that families are forever, that we are all God’s children, and that we will reunite with our loved ones across the veil as we too, one day, experience death. Until that day arrives, however, I pray that you and I will live our lives as emissaries of Christ, basking in his grace, and recipients of his glory. I hope that as you suffer the loss of your daddy that you will feel comfortable in reaching out to others, and that you might call me should you need assistance. The pain of grief should never be carried nor suffered in silence, nor alone. Reach out and allow those who love and care for you to lighten your burdens. Life will never be as it once was, but it will improve as you share priceless moments of peace with those who remain by your side. I hold you in high esteem, and pray that Christ’s promise will grace your soul. With Deepest Regards, Tracy Lee My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on, as well as educate adults in the needs of surviving children.