My daughter and I were speaking last week. She told me about a woman in her neighborhood who was involved in an accident. This particular woman is a young mother who was strolling her baby when a motorcyclist lost control of his vehicle and ran over them. The mother remains hospitalized in a coma. Fortunately, the baby was released into her father’s care after a time.

This creates a problematic situation for the father. Naturally, he is concerned and fearful for his wife’s condition. He may wonder if she will survive, he may also wonder what her quality of life will be if she does. He now has wee children at home without a mother’s tender and watchful care. How is he to care for them while working to provide for them? What if he has to bury his wife? What will the psychological effects be on their children without their mother loving and caring for them as they grow into adults?

Many questions remain unanswerable for this family. My daughter wants to reach out to them and offer her assistance. She asked me what she could do. She doesn’t know the family well, so cooking food for them would probably not be acceptable. We discussed several ideas that I thought were viable, so I wanted to share them with you.

Simply offering to help does not always assist a family in need. Families under enormous stress cannot reasonably decipher their immediate, much less, future needs. Suggesting something specific with an open-ended offer for something you may be unaware of is much more helpful.

If you ever want to help a family in tragic circumstances, here is a list of things you might offer to do for them.

1.  Drop off an unopened and uncooked frozen casserole

When I am called upon to cook for someone I do not know; I purchase a premade frozen Chicken Pot Pie or a frozen Lasagna. I deliver it frozen and unopened to their home with a card. That way, the family does not have to worry about eating something prepared by someone they do not know.

2.  Offer to do their laundry

Now, my husband would absolutely say no to this. He is very private and would not want anyone other than me washing his undergarments.

However, I suggested to my daughter that she say something like this.

“My children and I do our laundry on Tuesdays. I would be happy to do two or three loads for you and drop them back once they are done.” This type of offer allows the person in need to sort their laundry and hand over things like towels, linens, jeans, tee shirts, etc., and pull out any unmentionables to do themselves. Doing two or three loads of laundry for someone lightens their chore list and allows them control over what others see.

3.  Offer to do some grocery shopping

There are multiple ways to accomplish this task. First, do you want to ask them to make a grocery list or would you rather just purchase staple items that every kitchen needs? Do you want to pick the items up at the grocery store and deliver them to the home, or do you want to order them on Amazon or Walmart.com and have them delivered via truck? Whatever you decide to do, let the family know to expect the groceries. Anonymously sent groceries might find their way into the waste bin.

4.  Offer to do yard work

You might say something like this, “My children and I mow our lawn on Wednesdays and weed our flower beds on Thursday. If you’d like, we’d be happy to come by after we finish our yard and work on yours.”

5.  Sweep the porch and driveway

Perhaps your husband does the yard work, and you sweep the porch and driveway.

If that’s the case, make that offer to your neighbor or whomever you are trying to help.

“I will be sweeping and washing my driveway and porch next Tuesday. If you’d like, I could come over and do yours too.”

6.  Drive the kids to school

Another acceptable offer is to get the kids to school each morning. “Hey, I’ll be driving my children to school each morning. I’d be happy to drive yours too. Perhaps you don’t drive but walk your kids to the bus stop. If so, make that offer.

The point is that being specific is much easier on your neighbor or person in need rather than assigning them the task of asking you for assistance. At the end of your suggested offer, you could add, “or if there is something more pressing, just let me know, and I’ll get right on it.”

If you hear of someone who has lost a loved one and would like to offer sympathy, it is perfectly fine to do so, even if you do not know them. The back story of loss is often touching, and when you hear it, you want to offer comfort even though you are unacquainted with the survivor.

My daughter said that when she lost her son, several church members brought over meals for her family. She also said that something unexpected had happened and that it continued long after the meals stopped. She called this generous act of kindness “Porch Cards.” I had never heard of “Porch Cards,” so I asked her to elaborate.

Each morning, she would find several cards on her front porch. Many of the cards were from people who perhaps didn’t know her but wanted to reach out to offer their heartfelt sympathy. The cards came from people around her town who had heard that she had lost her child. The cards offered condolences, stories of loss, and prayers. These cards brought her much welcomed comfort.

Many of the cards came from parents who had also lost children. Sharing their stories helped her feel as though she was not alone and that she had not been singled out for this horrific experience. These cards, left on her doorstep by people whom she did not know but who had felt within their hearts the need to offer comfort, were very much a welcome daily ritual. From them, she drew strength and encouragement to seek recovery rather than give up. On days when she felt particularly vulnerable, she reread some of the cards to help her regain the courage she needed to continue breathing past the pain that weighed upon her very soul.

I have never heard of anyone doing this before. I think it is a very kind thing to do. Therefore, I would like to suggest a new tradition to everyone reading this article. If you hear of someone who has suffered a loss or a tragedy that you might not know and feel inclined to offer sympathy or encouragement, drop a “Porch Card” off on their front doorstep.

The kindnesses provided to me and my daughter upon the loss of my grandson, Mikey Joe, will remain in our hearts forever. We are thankful for every prayer offered on our behalf. We are grateful for the love we received from our family and friends. And, for those who offered unfettered support, love, and kindness without solicitation or association, we ask the Lord’s grace and blessings upon them forever.