THE GIFT OF REDEMPTION
Several years ago, a woman called my funeral home and asked me to visit her at a local nursing home. She was seeking funeral pricing information.
During our visit, she asked me for reading materials. A few days later, I returned with two books (that I had authored) for her reading pleasure.
Bright and early the very next morning, my phone rang. This same woman was on the line insisting that I return to the nursing home at once. I did as she bade.
Upon my arrival, she chastised me for writing something kind about someone she had grown up with. She informed me that I obviously did not know the man well and continued to relay his sordid history to me.
With gentleness, trying not to offend her further, I replied that through Christ’s mercy, even the worst among us are eligible for the gift of redemption.
I suggested that perhaps during the latter years of his life, this man, who had been unkind and unlikable as a younger man, may have changed. Perhaps his wife had forgiven him for his indiscretions and cruelties. Maybe his children had as well. At any rate, I expressed my unwillingness to harshly judge any of my clients, explaining that perhaps I turn a blind eye to history because my goal is to serve without judgment when life ends.
When I left the nursing home, I asked her if she would like for me to reclaim the books that had so adversely offended her. She declined my offer and opted to keep them. I felt reasonably sure this woman did not care for me at all, for her countenance suggested it, and her words expressed it without perplexity.
A few weeks ago, a man came to my funeral home. He informed me that he was here because his mother was near death. When I asked her name, I remembered my prior visits with her. During our conversation, I stated that I knew his mother and that she was a strong and assertive woman. He smiled at me, and with a wink of his eye, he said, “Well, she loathes the other guys in town, so you have her favor.”
At her service, I found my mind reviewing my conversations with her. I wondered if she had ever accepted my refusal to judge my client’s histories harshly. Over the years, I have thought of her often. I have found respect for her honesty and willingness to set things that she thought were wrong to rights. I have come to know many people in her family. In fact, some of her people are also some of my people. I have seen her strength and influence sustain them through difficult times of loss and disappointment. In particular, her strength and tenacity shored them up the day we laid her to rest.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.
It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
